I Leave The Light On
by StarvingArtist
Summary: A story that is a composite of some rape cases but are not word for word. Fin and Munch's case seems straightforward but takes a turn. Rated R for rape,language, and violence.
1. I Leave The Light On Chapter 1

Summary: My very first SVU fanfic, I'm so proud. Det.'s Munch and Tutuola think they have seen it all. They are about to be surprised. Not a song fic but has a song quote at the beginning. This is based on a couple of rape cases but not word for word.

I leave the light on

Chapter 1

I leave the light on; I leave the light on  
Better leave the light on.  
Cause I wanna love  
I wanna live  
I don't know much about it  
I never did,  
I don't know what to do, can the damage be undone  
I swore to God that I'd never be what I've become…  
Beth Hart, Leave the Light On

Detectives Munch and Tutuola walked into the ER of St. Luke's hospital and headed straight for the admit desk.

"Detective Munch and this is Detective Tutuola, Manhattan SVU."  
John Munch said as he and Fin showed their badges.  
"We got a report of a rape." He continued. "We need to speak with the victim."

The ER charge nurse looked up at them and set down the mountain of charts she was carrying.

"Debbie Greene." She said then offered her hand to the detectives. "I'm the charge nurse, I was here when she was brought in and was one of the people who took care of her. Your victim's name is Jackie Conner. She was taken to surgery an hour ago; I'll call and see if I can find out more." She said as she picked up the phone. "This may take a while. You might want to get comfortable."

The Detectives turned around to lean against the desk while the nurse talked on the phone. Munch hated hospitals. Every visit makes him think of all the people whose assaults he had investigated over the years. It didn't matter their age or how badly they were hurt—physically or emotionally—it all provoked the same sadness, sympathy, and repulsion.

Fin, his partner, was different. He may have felt the same as John about each case but if he did he kept it well-hidden.

"Who knows what evidence they're destroying in surgery?" Fin said, slightly miffed.

Munch gave him a glaring look. "Of course, better we should let her die then we can get all the evidence we want." He said sarcastically. 

"What's with you?" Fin said.

"Nothing, look, hey nurse." Munch said, tapping on the desk to get her attention. "Anything?"

"Thank you." She said, hanging up the phone. "She's extubated in recovery. You can talk to her as soon as she's in her room and awake. She'll be on the 9th floor, Obstetrics. "

"Obstetrics?" Fin said as he and John both looked puzzled.

"Oh, don't worry; they'll probably put her in a room by herself or with another GYN patient."

"I don't understand." Munch said. "I thought she was raped." 

"She was, I did the rape kit myself."

"Then why is she being cared for by the baby brigade?" Fin asked.

"I'm not allowed to tell you that. You can talk to the surgeon when you go upstairs."

"What can you tell us?" Munch asked, getting tired of the run-around. 

"Let's go sit in the chairs." Debbie suggested then told the desk clerk to call the 9th floor and have them to call when Jackie was well enough to talk to the detectives.

As they walked down the hall, she was bombarded with requests.

"Exam 2 needs a mig of atropine." A doctor said.

"Ok, got it." She wrote it down and continued on.

"Curtain three needs a gram of ancef." A nurse shouted.

"Be there in a minute."

"We're out of ancef." Another nurse said.

"Call the pharmacy. Oh and call the blood bank, we used up all the O-neg on that last trauma."

"You got it." The nurse replied.

"Deb, do we got any pre-natal vitamins?" asked a med student.

"Try the drug lock up." Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder turning her around.

"Hey remember us?" Munch said, getting irritated.

"Of course I do, it's a crazy night."

"I noticed that, now can we talk?"

Before she could answer she heard someone else, another doctor.

"MVA ten minutes out, we're gonna need you in trauma one."

"Fuck!" she shouted the turned to the detectives and took a deep sigh. "Sorry, now, right this way." She said grabbing her gown and gloves. All three of them had a seat.

"She was in pretty bad shape when she was brought in. Bastard beat the hell out of her. We didn't know she was raped until we saw the blood between her legs and the bruising on her genitals."

"And that's when you did the rape kit?" Fin said.

"Yes." 

"We're gonna need it." Munch added.

Debbie laughed slightly. "I know but there's something else I should tell you. When I did the kit I found pieces of glass inside her and embedded in her cervix. I took some for the kit."

"We'll still need to speak with her." John said.

"I'll go find the officer that has the rape kit and see if your victim is awake."  
She said as she left.

John and Fin sat there filled with disgust.

"That's just wrong." Fin said.

"What's worse is the perp's still out there. I just hope we catch him in time before he does it again." John added.

"Amen to that." Fin for once agreed with his partner. "Here comes Florence nightingale."

"Deb?" the desk clerk said as Deb walked by with the officer who had the rape kit.

"Yes?" She replied as she leaned over the desk to talk.

Munch and Fin couldn't make out what they were saying because just then the paramedics rolled the accident victim around the corner. She hurried down the hall with the gurney but stopped when she got to the detectives.

"Here's the officer and the rape kit, the patient's awake, OB is the 9th floor, surgery is the 15th floor, get in the elevator and follow the signs. Holler if you need me."

"Thanks for your help." Munch said as Deb got further away.

"No problem, just catch the bastard." She shouted back then disappeared into the trauma room.

"I'll talk to the surgeon, you stay with the victim." Munch suggested. 

The surgical floor was cold and sterile. Munch was glad he wore his coat or he would have frozen to death.

"I should have these people come in once a week to clean my apartment." He thought as he noticed how clean the place was.

"You must be the detective. They said you would be here soon." The doctor said as he offered his hand, John shook it. "I'm the surgeon who operated on your victim."

"Can you tell me exactly what happened to her?"

"Well, she lost a lot of blood; we almost lost her a couple of times on the operating table. She has a broken jaw, arm, ribs, slight skull fracture that needs observation. I also found multiple fragments of glass that caused extensive damage to her uterus." The doctor paused for a moment to ready John for what came next. "The damage was too severe to repair, I couldn't stop the bleeding, and I had to do an emergency hysterectomy."

"That son of a bitch, what did he do to this poor woman?" John thought to himself. At that point he didn't know if he meant the perp, the doctor, or both.

The doctor continued. "Pathology has the uterus; they'll send it over to your Medical examiner with their report. Is there anything else?" 

"What are these shards of glass everyone keeps mentioning?"

"You'll have to have your crime scene people tackle that one but they looked like beer bottle shards."

"She was raped with a beer bottle?" John asked but in his heart he knew the answer.

"That's what it looks like."

John's heart sank. For once in his life he was at a loss for words. "What kind of sick son of a bitch would use a beer bottle to not only rape a woman but mess her up so bad she has to have a hysterectomy?" 

"That's what I'm hoping you'll find out." The doctor said.

"Thank you." John said then walked towards the elevator. He sighed heavily. He just hoped Fin had some luck with the woman who had been violated.


	2. I Leave The Light On Chapter 2

A seemingly slam-dunk case takes a turn.

Jackie Conner lay in her hospital bed of the Obstetrics ward barely conscious and barely able to speak. Her jaw was throbbing and sore and so was the rest of her body. The Morphine they gave her helped dull the physical pain and the emotional pain which she was thankful for. She just wished she could speak well enough to tell Det. Tutuola about what had happened.

"Just take your time and try to remember anything, anything at all." Fin said with concern.  
He was interrupted by a nurse who came in to check on her.

"How are you feeling?" The nurse asked while checking her IV. 

"Is..this..a...trick..question?" Jackie said.

The nurse laughed slightly. "Any pain?"

"No..for..first time..today." She said groggily.

"Drugs." Fin interjected. "Enjoy them while they last."

The nurse left and Fin continued. "What do you remember about the attack?"

"He..was...my..boyfriend." 

"How long had you been dating?"

"A...few...months." 

"Was he violent before?"

"No." 

"What's his name?"

"Brian Lambert."

"How did the attack start? What set him off?" 

"We...fighting...he...was drunk..beat me..hit my face...body..took clothes off."

"Your clothes or his?"

"His clothes..threw me on the bed..landed on top of me...something sharp in me..hurt...then..him..inside me..glass and him..could feel it. After...he...took me..to my house...thanked me...for...wonderful evening..I called..hospital..you know the rest."

"We're gonna need his address." Fin finally managed to say after being in shock which was rare for him to show outwardly.

She gave him the address then heard someone knock quietly on her door. 

"You almost done in here?" Munch said softly.

Fin turned around. "In a second."

"Thank you, You were very brave. Get some rest." He said as he squeezed her hand then went to meet up with his partner.

"How long were you standing there?" Fin said slightly annoyed.

"Not that long, I just got done talking to the surgeon, I just wanted to see if you need any help. Did you get anything?" Munch said, ignoring his partner's attitude.

"Plenty. I think this is one case we can close in time to get some sleep. What did the doc say?"

"Well, she's got broken bones, skull fracture, bruises, oh, and they had to do a hysterectomy."

"My God." Fin replied in disgust. "This guy really messed her up."

"I know, it's a wonder she's still alive. He also found some glass inside her like the nurse said."

"She told me about that, that's just wrong. Some people are sick. I got his address, let's go arrest his a."

"Who is the guy?" Munch asked.

"Brian Lambert, he was her boyfriend."

"Looks like he ended that relationship."

Just then, Munch's cell phone rang.

"Munch." He said then there was a long pause as he listened to whoever was on the other end. "Thank you." He hung up the phone and looked up at his partner with sad eyes. "That was Warner, that uterus they removed had an 8 week old fetus in it and of course, more glass."

"The fetus had glass!" Fin said loudly.

"It would appear so."

"Let's go and get this guy before he does more damage." Fin said even more enraged.

Munch knocked on the door of Brian Lambert's apartment. "Mr. Lambert, this is the NYPD, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door or we will break it down."

They got no response so John instructed the officers to take the battering ram to the door. He and Fin ran into the apartment with their guns out while the police cleared the scene. They were taken aback and confused.

The place was empty.


	3. I Leave The Light On Chapter 3

Author's Note: I'm usually a little slow with getting new chapters online because I write them in a notebook first then put them on the computer. Anyway, I want to stress again that these are several actual rape cases that I put together into one. They are fictionalized of course but still I wanted to do justice for these women even though their attackers have long since been put away. I hope you like this story.

So...on with the show! And Review! I could use the praise and constructive criticism. Plus it lets me know you're reading. :-)

"_Have you come here for forgiveness? _

_Have you come to raise the Dead? _

_Have you come here to play Jesus_

_To the Lepers in your head?_

_Did I ask too much? _

_More than a lot? _

_You gave me nothing now it's all I got."_

_U2-One_

The Station House was buzzing with activity. The empty apartment had everyone puzzled and confused.

In the center of the room was a large clear display board with all the documents and information they had on the case so far which wasn't much. But right now they were not looking at the board, they were bouncing ideas off each other and telling what they found out.

"Landlord said that the only Brian Lambert who lived in that apartment was murdered there five years ago. Everyone who has lived there since didn't stay long. They say the place is cursed." Munch said with just a hint of disbelief.

"What do you mean 'cursed'?" Cragen asked looking confused.

"The usual." Elliott continued where John had left off. "They hear screaming,weird noises, bad smells,cold spots, things that go bump in the night."

"Cold and screaming. Sounds like me after each of my four marriages ended." Munch said.

"She had a skull fracture?" Huang asked after looking up from her medical records.

"Yeah, Why?" Fin asked.

"Well, a serious head injury could explain why she identified the wrong guy as her attacker. Maybe she knew this Brian Lambert somehow and her brain had temporarily lost the memory of her boyfriend's name and replaced it with someone else she knew."

"Such as a guy who's been dead for five years? I can see her not remembering the name and replacing it but why someone who is already dead?" John wondered to Huang.

"The mind is very complex and when it is injured it's like a computer crashing. It tries to save what it can. For whatever reason, it saved the memory of a dead guy." Huang tried his best to explain.

"We should do a background check on the victim and learn more about her connection to this Lambert person." Cragen said. "Munch, Fin, canvass Jackie's neighborhood, see if anyone saw or heard anything. First, go down to the crime lab and see what they know. Then go back and question the victim again."

"Captain." Fin interrupted. "She can barely speak, the guy busted her jaw. I don't know what more she can tell us, especially if her brain is scrambled."

"Well, you better try, it's the only chance we have. Huang, You go with John and Fin to the hospital. Maybe you can help her with her memory." Cragen answered. "Liv, Elliott, go to the morgue and see what Warner has to say."

Ok, it was short but I'll have the next three chapters up very soon. I promise.


	4. I Leave The Light On Chapter 4

A/N: Oh pppppppppllllllleeeeeeaaaaaassssssseeeeeee review! I'll clean your house for a week if you do. :-p

Chapter 4

"You were all dead on the money." The lab technician said. "The glass is the type used to make beer bottles. We even found traces of beer on it. We also found blood,semen, endometrial cells, and more semen.

"On the glass?" John asked.

"Yes. The blood came from two donors, one female-probably the victim- and one male we haven't identified but it matches the semen. We're running it through all the databases."

"Geez." John answered. "Just when I thought I'd seen everything. So tell me doc, how did the beer bottle glass get in there. I'm pretty sure she didn't give birth to the damn thing." He made no effort to hide his disgust.

All Fin could say was "Goddamn." And then under his breath he muttered "_beer bottle glass...semen..blood.." _He tried to wrap his mind around it. Finally he spoke "You don't think..doc, have you got a scenario yet?"

"As far as I can ascertain the beer bottle came first and second ejaculation. I guess the beer bottle wanted a piece of the action." The lab tech said.

"If he wanted to play rough there are plenty of professionals down town that would do it for $20, of course the bottle would cost extra." John added his insight.

"How the hell you know that?" Fin had to tease his partner as he gave him an accusing look.

"Back in Baltimore I had a guy with a broom handle shoved up his rectum. What killed him was the hooker who put it there shoved it a little too far and he bled to death. She said she actually believed he could take the whole broom handle. I guess she didn't know enough about anatomy."

The lab tech cleared his throat loudly. "If you're through with your trip down memory lane we were talking about _this_ case."

"Don't mind my partner, he gets agitated easily. What else you got, doc?" Fin asked, looking squarely in John's direction. John looked right back at him with his famous over-the-glasses condescending stare.

"Well, let me see." He said as he looked over the report. "Oh, we found some skin around the edges of the glass. I'm guessing whoever did this got injured in the process."

John looked at his partner. "I'll put out a notice to the ER's not that it won't send up any red flags."

"In the meantime, let's go talk to Jackie again." Fin suggested. "I'll call Huang."


	5. I Leave The Light On Chapter 5

_I believe_

_When it hurts_

_We must keep trying_

_But I want_

_And I need_

_Like a river needs the rain_

_There's a bridge I need to burn before I leave_

_I just wanna breathe again_

_Like a summer day I need to feel the heat again_

_I Only Wanna Keep The Stone From Rolling_

_I Only Wanna Learn To Feel The Rain_

_Then Maybe I Could Stop The Leaves From Falling_

_I Only Wanna Learn To Freeze The Flame_

_I Know I'll Be Alive Again_

_I Wanna Be Alive Again_

_--Cher "Alive Again"_

Chapter 5

The Morgue.

Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson stood in the cold, impersonal morgue where Dr. Melinda Warner spent most of her time looking at dead bodies or in this case body parts.

"Not much to autopsy." She said. "I always hate it when I find a fetus during an exam though. Some things you never get used to."

Elliot, having four children of his own was almost reluctant to ask. "How far along was she?"

"Approximately 8 weeks. Although it was kind of hard to determine with so much glass embedded in the head. I managed to removed all of it and send it to CSU. This uterus also has injuries and features consistent with sexual assault and pregnancy. I also found a fertilized egg in the left fallopian tube, it implanted itself there."

"An ectopic pregnancy?" Olivia asked.

"That's what it looks like." Warner replied.

At that moment there was a very loud THUD! And CRASH! Dr. Warner and Olivia spun around to discover the source of the commotion.

Elliot had had enough and punched the wall. There are some things even a tough guy can't take. "Is there any good news?" He reluctantly asked.

"The victim is still alive." Olivia said, trying to calm him, putting a hand over his shoulder.

"Just barely." He muttered.

A/N: Sorry these chapters are so short but I don't think there's a lot to say at this point. Anyway, Chapter 6 coming soon. Food and sleep are overrated. Haha


	6. I Leave The Light On Chapter 6

A/N: And now the lawyer's chorus: I recently learned that I must inform you that this story was originally published on starting in January of this year. It's not complete on epinions, in fact, it's just as far along there as it is here. But for some reason I have to give them credit. Anyway, here we go with another chapter. Hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 6

John, Fin, and Dr. George Huang stood in Jackie's room in the ICU of St. Luke's Hospital. She was still doing the best she could under the circumstances. Her jaw was still wired, she was still medicated and was not able to talk very well. She felt empty and scared. She didn't know who to trust anymore. She tried to look the Asian psychiatrist in the eye and focus on what he was saying as he asked her a few questions.

"How are you feeling today? Are you getting any better?"

"Little more each day." She said slowly and weakly.

"How much do you remember about the attack now?" He asked in a reassuring tone. He tried to make her feel that even though three people were about to ask her questions she wasn't being ganged up on.

"Just... bits and pieces... here and there. It's hard to think and talk." Her speech was improving but not by much. The doctor had instructed the men in the strictest possible terms not to upset her or tire her out. She was still very fragile.

"Do you remember who Brian Lambert is?" Huang asked.

"Who?"

"You mentioned his name to this detective when you were first interviewed. You don't remember?" He said, pointing to Fin to try to give her some sense of recognition.

"Don't know...who you're...talking..about." She said defensively.

John sensed she was about to close up and it would hurt that even more to see that happen. He wanted to catch this person as much as anyone. So he jumped in.

"I know this is painful but we need you to think. Take your time no one is judging you. We're trying to find whoever did this. You said the name, it must be important. It must mean something to you. He must exist unless he's a ghost."

"Sounds like...movie I was watching...that day...The Entity."

The three men laughed a little. But John continued. "Hey, I love Barbara Hershey as much as anybody. Damn good actress but I don't think that's what you were talking about."

"Well...I..." She started to talk when the nurse peeked her head in.

"We need to turn her. You need to leave the room for a minute."

John got an irritated look on his face. She was just starting to open up and now he was sure she was going to shut down again. "_Damn it."_ He thought to himself as he and his colleagues left the room.

"Now what? We're running out of ideas here." Fin said.

"Not necessarily." Huang reassured. "As much as she fought us she is willing to talk she's just not sure what to talk about."

"What does that mean?" John asked, looking confused.

"Something happened that night that she doesn't know how to explain or she's just too embarrassed to talk about it. If I few more minutes I could..."

"No! Please don't!" Jackie screamed from her room.

"What the hell?" the three men said at the same time as they ran into the hospital room. They almost wished they hadn't.

Jackie lay there in a pool of blood with blood on her hands and her stomach. The nurses were standing there dumbfounded. They couldn't move or even breathe. These tough experienced nurses couldn't deal with stitches being ripped out.

"Why the hell are you just standing there? Do something!" John screamed.

"I'm on it." Huang said as he ran towards Jackie to put pressure on the exposed wound.

"We need the Doctor in here." Fin called out from the room.

"What happened?" Huang looked up at the nurses to ask. They just stood there. "Damn it, answer me! What happened?" He insisted.

One nurse found the courage to speak. "Sh-she...I mean..her..her stitches removed themselves."

"You stand there vapor locked over popped stitches? What kind of nurses are you?" John's fuse was very short at this point.

"No, they untied themselves and removed themselves on their own."

At that time the doctor came in with backup and proceeded to fix the problem. The three men were again forced out into the hallway as Jackie was put in restraints.

"Just what the hell was that all about?" Fin asked.

"I don't know." Huang said. "I didn't have time to do a proper interview but she didn't seem suicidal. I can't believe she would rip out her stitches."

"Let me ask you this Agent Huang." John began. "Do you think—he sighed—do you think she did the beer bottle thing to herself? To abort the baby?"

"I don't know. It's possible but I would need more information about her background."

"But what about the semen?" Fin asked.

"She had sex before she inflicted the wounds if she inflicted them." He tried to explain.

"The number one reason to falsely report a rape—cover up a sexual enounter." John added. "Of course that doesn't explain the skin cells. And this is the most violent self abortion I've ever seen."

"Like I said." Huang continued. " I don't have all the answers. I need more time."

"Are you two trying to say she broke her own jaw and fractured her own skull?" Fin just couldn't believe any of this.

"I've seen all kinds of violence people have done to themselves. Suicides where they stabbed themselves over and over. She was talking about The Entity earlier." John said.

"I studied that case in med school." Huang added. "She inflicted injuries in places where she couldn't even reach. But there are disorders that can cause wounds without inflicting them. The just appear. The mind is very powerful."

Just then Fin's cell phone rang. "Tutuola." he answered then listened for a second. "Ok, we're almost finished here. We'll be there as soon as possible." He hung up and filled in the other two.

"That was Cragen. They found a dead guy in an alley in Jackie's neighborhood, no I.D. . Warner's waiting for us at the morgue."

"And what does this have to do with us?" If John got anymore confused he would have to check himself into this very hospital for sedation.

"The guy had a picture of Jackie and himself in his pocket." Fin answered. "Could be the boyfriend."

**cue the dramatic music and the doink doink**


End file.
